Reflections on my Tarot Journey: Part One

On this gorgeous June day, this is the first post in a series where I explore my journey with the tarot. I’m not planning these out, it feels more important to be spontaneous and see what comes up, so some posts may be longer than others, I may revisit things that need revisiting, and it may not be chronological (but my intention is for it to be vaguely that way for ease of understanding).

So here goes! Btw the pic is of the Sage bush in my garden, which has the most beautiful purple flowers at the moment

I tend to describe the start of my tarot journey as beginning sixteen years ago when I got my first deck. In reality, though, it started years before that, when I first became curious about it as my interest in the mysteries of the world grew and took hold.

I remember feeling curious, excited, keen, but also anxious, unsure, out of my depth. I have experienced a lot of impostor syndrome with spirituality and spiritual practices over the years, and this was no exception. And I harboured this secret wish to explore, to know more, for years. I have no older siblings, and also didn’t have any friends who (at least as far as I know) used tarot in their own lives. It just wasn’t a thing I encountered directly until much later.

Perhaps this is one of the roots of the impostor syndrome: feeling at the time that if I truly was meant to explore this system, a deck would have ‘magically’ come to me somehow, or there would be a strong current of practicing the craft in my blood family. I later learned more about different types of lineage and ancestry, and changed my perspective on this (which will be the subject of a later post!) but was trapped, really, in a narrow frame of viewing, and this stopped me from taking the initiative myself.

I felt sad about this for a while, about how my journey could have begun earlier if I’d just overcome my fear… but that is far easier said than done. I have now come to terms with my own prior resistance and the barriers I built up, and I now believe it’s never too late to start a journey that calls you to take the first step

So, my early years with the tarot were actually without the tarot, if that makes sense but I’ve learned a lot from that time.

In the next post I’ll talk about my first deck (the Cat People Tarot by Karen Kuykendall) and how I began my practice.

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